倚靠小组与罪争战

寻找同路人

倚靠小组与罪争战

                                                                                                

编者按：

在面对罪的战场上，我们需要别人的帮助。一个相互信任、相互扶持的小组将非常有帮助，它带来的益处会有很多。你可以向主祷告，求主给你预备一个你可以依靠的小组。

我的本性是对周围的人说：“我挺好的，谢谢。” 但问题是，罪是活跃的，我们要每时每刻与之争战。如果在与罪的争战中，我说“我不需要帮助“，那这是不明智的，也是不诚实的。我确切的知道自己经常犯哪些罪，甚至可以找出对应的经文。但我身上往往也有自己看不见的罪。

我太太和我属于马里兰州、盖瑟斯堡教会的关怀小组，这个小组在我们身边帮助我们争战。他们帮助我看到我自己的罪，然后用耶稣基督的福音来对付罪。

“我们又劝弟兄们，要警戒不守规矩的人。勉励灰心的人。扶助软弱的人。也要向众人忍耐。”（帖前5:14）

因着耶稣基督的全然担当，我的关怀小组在我懒散的时候警戒我，在我灰心的时候勉励我，在我软弱的时候扶助我。他们按着我们当时的需要，总是给予适当的恩典。

我带领的这个小组由三对夫妻组成。我们六个人每月聚一次。丈夫们和妻子们每个月另外单独聚一次。因为我们三位弟兄都在我们教会做牧养工作，我们平时可以去对方的办公室互相关怀。我们的关怀小组里，我们是以朋友相见，而不是同工或者专家的身份。

我们定期地读一篇文章来坚固我们的婚姻，但我们首先会将注意力集中在：如何应用从讲台得来的信息。我们讨论的要点很简单：“我们的所学如何影响了我的生命？” 也就是说我们将讲道信息运用到个人内心的挣扎；运用到日常的决定，比如我们的孩子是不是应该上大学；运用到我们最近的冲突；运用到彼此生命中的恩典。

我们不是为了评断每个人的表现，而是为了彼此关心，并成为给予恩典的人。我们彼此信任，并且我们知道我们今天仍旧是需要救主的罪人。在这样的背景下，我们不是要“超越”别人，而是真正地认识彼此，也被彼此所认识。

在这样的信任中，我们可以敞开地讨论几乎所有夫妻的话题（涉及性诱惑的问题除外，这个将在我们的同性的见面中讨论）。讨论我们与配偶现在的生活会帮助我们关心彼此，因为小组每个人可以从最熟悉一个人的那里来彼此了解。如果没有这样的投入，我们就不能很好的帮助彼此。夫妻小组聚会额外的好处还包括：

• 让人知道罪是如何影响家庭的其他成员。这人可能没有意识到他或她的罪所带来的后果，而小组可能促进对话或提供一个观点，引导这对夫妻达到原本自己无法达到的相互理解的水平。
• 通过小组让个人看到自己生活中的恩典，而这些恩典其配偶未必能看到。
• 使个人能够听其配偶分享如何看到神改变他或者她（这往往使其丈夫或妻子惊奇不已）
• 帮助配偶们能更好地关心对方。通过观察别人如何关怀我们的配偶，我们也学习如何更有效地关心。
• 提供一些在同性单独会晤时可挑选的谈话主题。
  
  
  

每个基督徒都有影响我们生命的占主导地位的犯罪形式。就我自己来说，我会自负、论断人，并且骄傲。这些罪都深深地在我心里。这些罪会在我婚姻等重要的方面显露出来，他们实在是影响到我所有的行为。因为“心里所存的，口里就说出来”，我们的讨论反映了我的内心世界和我真正相信的是什么。在每次对话中，别人都能观察到我是如何犯罪的。那些了解我的人分享这些对我的观察，我可以更好地制服我内里的罪。与弟兄姊妹们在一起做这些是多么喜乐啊！我们相识、相信、信任，而且大家总是提醒我这不变的福音——基督为我们的罪受死，我们可以不再属于罪了！

Using Small Groups to Fight Sin

My natural tendency is to say to those around me, “I’m doing quite well, thanks.” The problem is, sin is active and wars against us each and every day. It’s unwise—and, frankly, dishonest—to suggest that I don’t need help in my battle against sin. Often, I can put an accurate label on my sin patterns, and even identify verses that speak to them. But just as often, there are sins and sin patterns I cannot see.

The care group to which my wife and I belong at our church in Gaithersburg, Maryland comes alongside and helps me fight the battle. They help me to see my sin, and then apply the gospel of Jesus Christ to it.

“And we urge you, brothers, admonish the idle, encourage the fainthearted, help the weak, be patient with them all” (1 Thes. 5:14).

By reminding me of his all-sufficient sacrifice, my care groups admonishes me when I am idle, encourages me when I am fainthearted, and helps me where I am weak. This is bringing grace in an appropriate form—according to our needs at the moment.

The care group I lead consists of three married couples. All six of us meet monthly. The three husbands also meet separately once a month, as do the three wives. Since all three of us men work on the pastoral staff at our church, we are able to drop into one another’s offices to care for each another on a regular basis. Yet in our care groups we meet as friends, not as coworkers or professionals.

Though we periodically read an article to enrich our marriages, primarily we focus on learning to apply what we have been taught from the pulpit. The major emphasis of our discussions is simple: “how does what we have been taught affect my life?” That means our conversation will bring the message of the sermon into personal heart struggles, into day-to-day decisions such as whether our kids go to college, into our latest conflicts, or into evidences of grace in one another’s lives.

Our goal is not to measure each other’s performance; it’s to give care and be grace-bringers. There is an underlying assumption of trust, as well as the assumption that we continue to be sinners in need of a Savior today. In this context, we don’t try to “out-perform” one another, but to truly know each other and be known by each other.

Given this context of trust, we will openly discuss almost any topic as couples (with the exception of matters pertaining to sexual temptation, which will be discussed in our same-sex meetings). Discussing our lives with spouses present is immensely helpful in caring for one another, since it allows the group to get the perspective of the person who knows each individual best. Without such input, we are less equipped to help one another. Additional benefits of meeting as married couples include

• allowing individual’s to hear how sin affects others in the family. The individual may not be aware of the consequences of his or her sin, and the group might be able to facilitate a conversation or offer a perspective that leads to a level of shared understanding the couple cannot reach on their own.
• letting the group point out evidences of grace in an individual’s life, evidences which the spouse may not have seen.
• allowing an individual to hear how a spouse sees God changing him or her (often to the surprise of the husband/wife).
• helping spouses be more effective at caring for one another. By observing others care for our spouse, we learn how to more effectively do the same.
• providing conversation topics which can be picked up in our separate meetings for men and women.
  
  
  

Every Christian has predominant sin patterns that affect our lives. For myself, I can be self-sufficient, judgmental, and proud. These sins reside deep in my heart. While these sins may show up in primary areas such as my marriage, they really affect all of my actions. Because “out of the heart, the mouth speaks,” our discussions reflect my heart and what I truly believe. Every conversation is then an opportunity for others to see my sin patterns at work. By having others that know me share these observations, I can more effectively mortify the sin that is active in my heart. And what a joy to do this with brothers and sisters who know, believe, trust, and always remind me of the same gospel—that Christ died for our sins, that we might belong to sin no more!

作者：Corby Megorden

Corby Megorden是马里兰州盖瑟斯堡圣约生命教会负责总务的牧师。

翻译肢体:张金星

来自群组: 金灯台团契分享组